omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He shit in the fireplace
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
