oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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