i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
