Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
