i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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