I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
