I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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