i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize