fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
