sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
foreskin is a definite game changer
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize