i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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