Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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