just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
