Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
