so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Randomize
