I must be too annoying 4 u.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
