I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
