I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
