he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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