Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
