Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
