I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
