I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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