I cockslap morals
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
