Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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