my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
