Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
