we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize