We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
