Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
