whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
My vagina just clenched in fear
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
