I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I could fuck to npr.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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