your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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