so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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