Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(586): View more from Michigan

Why do girls always cry at the bar?

(586): View more from Michigan

What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?

(586): View more from Michigan

Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?

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(586): Why do girls always cry at the bar? (586): What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night? (586): Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar? http://tfl.nu/joll

Replies (1) Good night (874) Bad night (999)
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(310): View more from California

I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.

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(310): I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE. http://tfl.nu/dkfu

Replies (15) Good night (3833) Bad night (687)
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(503): View more from Oregon

My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.

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(503): My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it. http://tfl.nu/89xj

Replies (40) Good night (5426) Bad night (3666)
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(520): View more from Arizona

Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn

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(520): Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn http://tfl.nu/666p

Replies (20) Good night (6789) Bad night (919)
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(773): View more from Illinois

It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.

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(773): It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out. http://tfl.nu/p4fr

Replies (16) Good night (5250) Bad night (792)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night

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(201): your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night http://tfl.nu/mrgx

Replies (18) Good night (1162) Bad night (4621)
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(404): View more from Georgia

He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?

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(404): He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair? http://tfl.nu/ho1p

Replies (20) Good night (1070) Bad night (2691)
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(865): View more from Tennessee

we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.

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(865): we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss. http://tfl.nu/qrai

Replies (6) Good night (2000) Bad night (900)
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(917): View more from New York City

My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case

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(917): My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case http://tfl.nu/1awx

Replies (3) Good night (1866) Bad night (701)
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(352): View more from Florida

She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!

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(352): She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week! http://tfl.nu/rhq7

Replies (4) Good night (1916) Bad night (575)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!

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(570): ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin! http://tfl.nu/i1tl

Replies (18) Good night (1590) Bad night (2259)
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(616): View more from Michigan

I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza

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(616): I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza http://tfl.nu/i05b

Replies (1) Good night (1249) Bad night (420)
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(815): View more from Illinois

It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.

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(815): It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry. http://tfl.nu/yfvq

Replies (13) Good night (351) Bad night (938)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.

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(423): I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings. http://tfl.nu/2rp0

Replies (5) Good night (1576) Bad night (375)
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(757): View more from Virginia

Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even

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(757): Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even http://tfl.nu/st9j

Replies (7) Good night (716) Bad night (590)

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