Texts From Last Night

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  (714): View more from California

  But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.

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  (714): But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out. http://tfl.nu/5n0s
  Replies (11) Good night (731) Bad night (1190)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge

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  (717): Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge http://tfl.nu/tbkl
  Replies (7) Good night (5610) Bad night (705)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm

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  (214): she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm http://tfl.nu/qx0o
  Replies (8) Good night (3164) Bad night (1854)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed

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  (717): I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed http://tfl.nu/mass
  Replies (6) Good night (2334) Bad night (1490)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth

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  (607): Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth http://tfl.nu/3kds
  Replies (8) Good night (1577) Bad night (722)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am

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  (727): I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am http://tfl.nu/ogdh
  Replies (7) Good night (1015) Bad night (1408)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.

  (1-701): View more from North Dakota

  Jesus, are you hammered?

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.

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  (701): Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus. (1-701): Jesus, are you hammered? (701): Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws. http://tfl.nu/johl
  Replies (26) Good night (4147) Bad night (1012)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies

  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Stop drinking before 5

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Easier said than done

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  (651): Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies (612): Stop drinking before 5 (651): Easier said than done http://tfl.nu/j7cm
  Replies (3) Good night (1556) Bad night (842)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy

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  (815): My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy http://tfl.nu/f1hz
  Replies (10) Good night (1614) Bad night (603)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.

  (1-207): View more from Maine

  They want yo temporarily sterile ass.

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  (207): Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong. (1-207): They want yo temporarily sterile ass. http://tfl.nu/285n
  Replies (9) Good night (1575) Bad night (563)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.

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  (902): Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring. http://tfl.nu/d21p
  Replies (4) Good night (493) Bad night (1174)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."

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  (971): I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob." http://tfl.nu/bamh
  Replies (4) Good night (491) Bad night (736)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any

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  (307): Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any http://tfl.nu/i4l6
  Replies (3) Good night (420) Bad night (724)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower

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  (610): If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower http://tfl.nu/d9ft
  Replies (0) Good night (496) Bad night (340)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?

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  (612): Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe? http://tfl.nu/94og
  Replies (2) Good night (382) Bad night (463)

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