Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good

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(+31): View more from The Netherlands

He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?

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These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober

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(501): View more from Arkansas

we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"

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(817): View more from Texas

he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.

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(857): View more from Massachusetts

btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.

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