I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
