It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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