we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
