She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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