They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
