That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
