Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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