He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
