You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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