Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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