Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
