i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
