My room smells like vodka and shame
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Randomize