Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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