ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
