We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You made out with two different species that night
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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