the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize