Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize