you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I need a burrito and a hug.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
