so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Randomize
