how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
