I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
They took my balls.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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