I just threw up on my dentist
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
