OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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