You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
what day is it and did you see me today?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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