bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize
