What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Holy shit dude........stairs
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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