Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
