he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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