I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
