YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I party with great urgency now.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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