so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
