girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
