I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
